10 Weeks To Go

So, I have about 10 more weeks of this whole being pregnant thing, which is a beautiful thing all on its own, but when you throw in keeping up with two active boys, colds, stomach flus, and never ever sleeping because I believe that I am also carrying a very active little boy who will probably come out wearing a black-belt, its starting to ware hard on me.

I feel like I have started to turn that corner... the one that all pregnant women feel... where you start to "feel" pregnant.  I am starting to slow down, get really tired, and I feel like I just cant keep up.  Emotionally, this has been kind of hard for me to accept.  I feel guilty, only by my own right, but its hard when you go from doing all of this daily things, and then you just all of a sudden don't have it in you.  Its hard for me to lift Luke, and I feel bad always asking someone else to lift things or little ones for me :(

I feel like I was also a little in denial about how much time I actually had to prepare for this little one, and at one point, I was thinking that I didn't need to do much, but now I realize that there are things that I want to do, and things that we still need to acquire before this baby is born.  10 weeks might seem like a lot, but when I think back on how fast the last 30 have gone, 10 seems like nothing, and I have started to panic a bit, especially when I see it as only 70 days and not 10 weeks...  Kyle and I need to sit down and make a list, a list always makes me feel better because then I can get it out of my head and really look at it.  I might be making a bigger deal out of it then I need to. 

I am still enjoying being pregnant.  Kyle and I love to watch him move and dream about how our family is going to evolve.  I think that we have finally named him, but I better tell my family before we post it on here... at least I think that we have, naming the 3rd of the same gender is hard... we want to make sure that he stands out without having one of those crazy names that no one can spell or pronounce.  And... we went to the fair on Wednesday... it is now Friday and I am extremely tempted to buy a ticket back into the fair just to satisfy my pregnancy cravings... oh what I would give for another Krusty Pup and Elephant ear... maybe some scones and kettle corn too... and maybe an ear of corn... of and how about a monster burger, and then a bottle of Tums!!  HAHA

 

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes - Luke Edition

Luke is growing so much right now, you can see his mind exploding with ideas and questions... oh the questions that come out of this little ones mouth.  He is mostly curious about human anatomy, bodily fluids and how chickens become chicken nuggets... gotta love boys!!

I thought I would write out some of the more interesting conversations that we have had lately... hopefully as life happens, and I forget things, I can look back and read the crazy things out of my little guys mouth... as I know that he will only talk like this a little while longer.

I never get an opportunity to really go to the bathroom by myself... especially if its just Luke and I home, he tends to follow me everywhere and since I pee every 15 minutes, he has plenty of time to follow me into the bathroom...

L: Mom, why do you sit down to pee?
J: girls don't have penises, so we sit down so we don't make a mess.
L: Can I see?  I really think you have a penis...
J: No, you cannot, that would be inappropriate.  Boys have Penises and girls have vaginas.
L: So do you hide your penis in your butt?
J: NO, I do not have a penis, now go away and shut the door!

So, Gonzo, our favorite chicken was taken by a hawk a while back, and we kind of eluted to the fact that shes dead, but haven't really said it... Luke and Blake have very different ideas about where chicken nuggets come from...

B: I Love chicken nuggets
L: I love them too... because I love gonzo and were eating Gonzo.
B: We aren't eating Gonzo, these are from Costco.
L: Maybe the hawk took them to Costco for them to make her a nugget
B: No, Luke, the hawk ate her!  It didn't take her to Costco!
L: (bursts into tears) The Hawk ate her???  I wanted to eat her!!

I am not going to pretend that I don't let an occasional curse word slip out... My go to curse words, usually said in frustration, are damn and shit... Luke will say them in the most inopportune time.

In line at the grocery store check out like and Luke dropped his snack on the ground, and yells out "oh shit"  and you better believe that there was an old lady standing right behind me that looked mortified beyond belief!  I just smiled :)

Luke was running around the backyard barefoot and stepped in chicken poop, and looked down and was like " damnit, I stepped in chicken shit"

I guess I need to watch my mouth a bit more lol :)

So this one is the one that made me laugh so hard that I had tears running down my face... and just to understand this a little better, Luke doesn't says his "v's" it comes out like a "b" instead.

L: Mom, can you jump on the trampoline with me?
J: No honey, its not good for the baby.
L: Why?  Will the baby fly out of your BA-gina?
J: (while laughing hysterically) Ummmm, yes, something like that.
L: okay, you better sit down then.

Then, while jumping on the trampoline, he yells "BA-gina" over and over again... good thing we don't have close neighbors!!

These are just a few of the silly, yet inquisitive, questions and thoughts that come out of this little guys noggin.  He has a serious side too, but gosh he can make us laugh. 

Sisters Perspective

 

This little poem has been shared by many people on my Facebook, and its hard to read for those affected by addiction, but it is very true.  I have not seen my brother since Luke's birthday party in early May after I became curious as to why he disappeared in the middle of the party, came back, and spent an additional 20 minutes in my bathroom.  I discovered q-tips with the ends cut off in my garbage can... I had no idea what it was for, but after I googled it, I was disgusted.  Shortly after that he did many more horrible things to family members and went into rehab again, then got out of rehab and continues with the same old tricks.  If he put as much effort into rebuilding his life as he does into manipulation, lying and stealing, I bet he could do amazing things, but instead, he's always looking for a new angle in which to get away with a scam without being caught. 

I have chosen to dissolve the relationship that I had with him, and the one that he had with my boys.  I felt that it was in the best interests of my family to just stay away, and I have no regrets for the decisions that Kyle and I have made.  I do not appreciate the company that he keeps, nor do I approve of what he does, and if my husband is ever alone with him, I am not so sure that Mitch would make it out alive.  Some people think that I am cruel to keep my kids from him, they say that he is "family" and that we should always stick together.  Well, your opinion is your own, but my job is to protect my children and I am doing what I believe is best.  He has destroyed a once, close family.  He has torn them all in different directions, and I give it another couple months before he self destructs again, but this time, were not going to be around to see it, and I am not going to have to explain to my kids why their uncle has to go away for a while - right now, he is out of sight and out of mind.   Does it hurt?  Of course it does... its sad, ugly, disappointing, hurtful, and disgusting... but I have come to the conclusion that I cannot help, no one can but him.  So, he's on his own... well not really, he has found someone else to manipulate into taking care of him... 

but anyways, here is the poem... so sad, but tis so true.

I destroy homes, tear families apart,

take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold,

the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold,

and if you need me, remember I'm easily found.

I live all around you, in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.

My power is awesome; try me you'll see, but if you do, you may never break... free.

Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad

When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give.  When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned this is no game.  If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind.  I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head,

the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me,

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master; you will be my slave,  I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do?  Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

School Follow Up

So, we started off strong, I was excited that they were doing so well, and then WHAM!  I'm talkin complete opposite of the first week.

Lets start with Blake... he started out by not wanting me to walk him to class because he's a big boy, and he didn't need me to do it.  He was proud and confident and he was ready!  Last night he started crying that the days are too long and he missed us too much.  Then woke up this morning with the same problem.  He bawled... like the crazy make yourself sick, snot rolling down your face type of cry.  I was sympathetic for a while, but then the tough love had to come into place.  I explained that going to school is not an option, its something that you have to do, just like daddy has to go to work and mommy has to vacuum (lol)... and I might have also told him that it was illegal not to go, so he didn't have a choice.  I got him in the shower, and put him in the right state of mind, and then I kind of bribed him and told him that I put some special surprises in his lunch (Whoppers) and if he had a good day, then we would do something really fun tonight.  I also think that I am going to break it up a bit and maybe go have lunch with him once a week, but its not that he doesn't want to go to school because he doesn't "like" school, I think that the long days, lack of naps and busy schedule is getting to him.  So, I walked him to his class, got him seated, and I could see the tears welling up.  I told him that he was going to have a great day and have so much fun with his friends, gave him a kiss and left.  I could tell that he was trying to hold his tears in.  I know that it will pass, but talk about pulling at your heart strings!  I emailed his teacher last night too to let her know that he was showing some reservation, and bless her heart, she emailed me back at 11:00pm and I am working closely with her and I am sure it will all work out, but holy crap, I didn't see this coming.  *sigh*

Then Luke... totally fine and then I dropped him off, and he starting screaming for me!  Like the ugly scream while Ms. Connie is holding on to him and he's pushing away from her trying to get to me.  I know that the best thing is to make a quick exit, so I gave a kiss, said good bye and out the door I went as I could hear him scream all the way to my car.  I know that he probably stopped the second I left, but gosh I feel bad.  I drove away bawling!  Composed myself enough to run by the lab for some blood work that I needed to get in, and then took my butt to Starbucks and got me a blended mocha and some lemon pound cake. 

Now, I'm home, laying on the couch, watching the View and enjoying these 3000 calories while writing in this blog.  I know that there is a couple loads of laundry that need to be done, but I don't really feel like doing them, and breakfast dishes are in the sink, and I really don't feel like doing that either.  I think that I am just going to sit here for a while, come up with a game plan, and stop feeling guilty.  Easier said then done, I know, but I guess were just in the adjustment phase and by next month, everything will be fine. 

 

A New Year

I cant believe that school has started for my kiddos.  Summer flew by, but in some ways it felt like it took forever!!  The kids were ready for some space... when you see your sibling every waking moment of every day, and you even share a room at night, you start to fight, get on each others nerves, and mom is left finding grey hairs!  They needed to branch out, they needed to find their own identities and their own friends.

Blake was so excited to finally start all day kindergarten!  He was ready, and because of his late September birthday, he was only able to attend the early kindergarten program last year, and that was great for him, and a perfect stepping stone into full day.  But as Blake is almost 6, he was ready for all day. One thing he wasn't ready for was not being able to graze and eat whatever you want whenever you want, HAHA I have never seen him eat so much in my life!  We eat dinner at 4:30 so he didn't have to wait long, but being at school from 8:55-3:25 sure wore him out and he's been sleeping like a baby at night... I'm talking 7:00 completely asleep!!  He's making friends and he's so excited to learn!  he loves it, and I'm so glad that he has this amazing love for school :)

He chose the front row!  Such a good little student :)

Today was Luke's first day.  Last year, they had to rip him off of me, and he absolutely hated it.  he was 2 and a half, but academically, he was ready, so I thought he would grow out of it - NO WAY- he went for 8 weeks and it was the same thing every time... kicking, not sleeping the night before, hysterical on the way there, begging me to stay, and I finally said screw it, he wasn't ready and I wasn't going to push it any longer.  He had a good year at home learning with me, and what a difference a year makes!  This year, at 3 and a half, he was excited, eager, and it sounded like this "Luke, its time for me to leave now" and Luke looks at me, smiles, and says "okay mama, see you in a little while"  no fit, no screaming, no fighting.  He was happy, comfortable and I was thrilled!  I am not the mom that cries when her kid goes to school successfully.  Last year, leaving him bawling every day I was in tears crying to Kyle on the phone that I didn't feel right leaving him, and this time... I am thrilled that he is so well adjusted.  That I can leave him and he trusts that I will come back, and that he is confident in himself.  Well see how he did this afternoon, but he started the day off right, and I cant wait to see how he grows this year!

He had to wear his favorite "SNOOFIE" T-Shirt!  He also wore it yesterday so I was doing laundry at 7 last night :)

Wrapping Up Summer

This summer has been amazing... this is the first summer where we have had two (mostly independent) eager boys ready to explore!  not held down by diapers or fears of the water... these kids were ready, so good thing I can still kind of keep up with them.

We had our first solo camping trip ever... it was different to go with just our boys, and not family and friends, but it was so much fun!!  We took a long weekend at Lake Easton, and we will definitely go back!  Kyle took the boys fishing and we went hiking, kayaking, and exploring... even stumbled on a car show full of really neat old cars.  Food was simple, we made our own time, and Kyle and I found ourselves just observing what great little guys the boys have become!

All they wanted to do is fish... so that's what we did!!

She loves to swim

Getting ready for school has been fun... many open houses, meet and greets, and last minute shopping trips, but we are ready!  Learned my lesson on buying pants too early... Blake already grew out of the jeans I bought him a month ago!  Luke is ready for preschool, he doesn't have a choice this year, he must go!  but its going to help that he has a friend in his preschool class.  I anticipate a little resistance from him, but I am pretty confident that it will all work out.  I have a 5 year old going to kindergarten that is insisting that he can walk himself to school and get to his class all on his own, and he doesn't want any help from me (yeah right) and my 3 year old is going to be screaming, holding on to my leg and begging me not to leave him haha!  Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

The boys got a really fun last minute surprise from Grandma and Grandpa Rogers just in time before school starts!  They got to take a special trip to San Diego and went to SeaWorld and the Zoo!!  They had so much fun!  They swam in the pool, saw so many different animals, and Luke got his first plan ride... this is number 3 for Blake.... I didn't ride on my first plain until I was like 13, little stinkers!!  They loved it!  One little last minute hurrah before school starts!  I don't have many pictures from their trip, but the Rogers family sport their Seahawks support no matter where they are!!

It was so hard to let them go, this mama had a pretty rough time at first, but Kyle took time off from work so I wasn't wallowing in my own sorrow, and we celebrated our anniversary!  We spent 4 days doing things that we haven't done in years; things that are too hard to do with kids.  We went on an all day drive to Mt Rainier National Park, and saw some amazing things... can you believe that we have never been there and its like an hour from our house... AND everyone that was there was from a different country and they were on vacation... really??  I had no idea that people came here for vacation!  We also went to Seattle with Tyler and Liz, and again, played tourist in our own backyards haha... I have never seen the Ballard Locks... Crazy, I know, and I cant wait to take the kids there!  We contributed to the gum wall, drank Starbucks, hung out with the Troll, and saw the UP house.  LOVED IT!!  Okay, my husband loves me very much but he is refusing to take the Duck Boat Tour with me... OMG I know, I'm a nerd, but I sooo want to do it!!  Anyone wanna come with me?  Apparently, ill have to leave my husband at the bar.  Or maybe of I take him to the bar first, I will be able to get him on the Duck Truck!  HAHAHA  We went to ipic, love that place!!  And we filled in the rest of the time in with walks with the dog, buying some new furniture (seriously needed) and grocery shopping lol :)  It was really neat to spend that one on one time with Kyle, but I was sure excited to get the boys back! 

We saw a family of Black Bears... we were so close!!

Paradise Hike

 

 

 

School starts for Blake this Friday and then Luke starts preschool next Thursday.  Back to reality and the grind!  Also, time to start thinking about baby stuff... hes going to be here soon!!