Our Crazy Beautiful Life: Lucy... My Heart Breaks, For A Part Of Me Has Died

I am broken inside, I fell like part of me has died and I will never be whole again. She was more then a dog, she was a sister to my boys, and my baby girl. She was always at my side, she always knew when I needed her, and she would have died for our family.

7:00 this morning, and I hear a knock at my door... I was still in bed, so I cautiously approached the door, and it was Tammy... confused I answered, Blake was next to me and excited to see her. She handed me the phone and told me to stand outside as she wiped the tears from her face, and shut the door behind me. I look at the phone and I see that it was Kyle, and he said words that I still cant believe are true "Honey, Lucy died last night" I burst into tears, yelled "No" and just stood outside my front door literally shaking in shock... This just couldn't be right...

We didn't see this coming at all. She was strong and healthy and as lovable as always. Last weekend, we went up to Anacortes to partake in a tribal celebration, and Left Lucy with my parents. My mom and dad are wonderful with my animals... especially my mom. My mom has this sixth sense about her when it comes to animals, so I know that Lucy was very well taken care of and that she felt love in her final hours. We got back late on Sunday night, and I was supposed to go and get her tonight, but sometime last night, with Max by her side, she passed on. I don't know why she died... its not obvious at all, but St Bernards are prone to heart problems and also seizures, so I am assuming that it had something to do with that. Nothing that anyone could have prevented...

Kyle left work at 7:00 this morning, and went and got Lucy from my Mom and Dads, and brought her home. Tammy took Blake to preschool and then took Luke home with her so that we could figure out what we were going to do with our baby girl.

Kyle and I spent the morning talking about how much we are going to miss her, and how wonderful she was with our boys as we prepared her special spot next to Otto in our backyard beneath the apple trees. I looked at her one last time and pet her head and gave her a kiss goodbye as we laid her to rest as I wiped more tears from my eyes, and tried not to choke on the lump in my throat. I buried my face into Kyle's chest as I cried...I just cant believe that she is gone.

I feel really bad for my parents and for Mitch. Mitch is the one that found her at 5:30 this morning and my parents feel horrible. It had nothing to do with them, although I am glad that it happened there because I don't know what I would have done if Blake and I would have found her this morning, and she passed in a place where she was comfortable and with her buddy.

What am I going to tell my boys? Blake is going to know that she is gone, and it is going to break him just like it has me. She was his best friend, and nothing will ever be that special to him... a love between a child and an animal is a magical kind of love.

Although, some people that don't have dogs might not understand what my family is going through, those that have made their pet part of their family know how hard this is. My stomach drops when I look at the spot where she used to lay, I am breaking down in tears every time I go into a different room, and I am bawling as I write this. Our family has been blessed with two AMAZING dogs, but they have left giant holes in my heart. I don't know if I can go through this again... I know that I will again someday because dogs are just part of our lives, but right now, I can hardly breath.

Goodbye Lucy Lou
You are forever in our hearts
December 2nd 2006 - December 18th 2013