Happy Holidays :)

The holidays were very bitter sweet for our family, but mostly on the sweeter side.  Just before Christmas, we lost our darling pup, and it sure has a way of breaking you in a way that you didn't think that you could ever be broken.  I go to empty the kids' leftovers into her food dish, and its not there... I vacuum every day because with her dog hair, that's what I used to have to do, but the canister on the vacuum is empty now.  Her absence is really felt around here.  I especially feel it when I am all by myself...After the kids have gone to bed, and if Kyle isn't home.  That was the time that I really spent with her, and she would lay on the bed with me, and eat popcorn... I miss that.

Luckily, we had a trip scheduled to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 20th and it was sure perfect timing!  We all needed to check-out for a bit and oh-my-gosh... that place is AMAZING!  Not just for kids, but parents too!!  I got a massage, and a facial that were absolutely spectacular!  The kids ran wild and LOVED every minute of it, and we really enjoyed our time there.  We stayed up until 10:30!  that's a big deal with a 7:30 bed time... ate ice cream at 9PM and we got this special pass to go swimming at 7:30 AM.  We were the only ones in the pool, and it felt like we had the park all to ourselves.  It was so much fun with so many memories!  I didn't take many pictures because we were running around so much, but we sure had a blast!!

He loved the paintings on the walls!!

We had 5 Christmas's this year and I am pleased to say that we survived it!  I think that we all go into a little bit of survival mode during the holidays.  We do what we have to do to make it through... nap times, feedings, toys, bathing... I honestly didn't really care what they ate.  If they wanted candy at 8PM at someones house and it would keep them from having a melt down... by golly GIVE THEM THE CANDY!  Thats my philosophy anyways.  Its Christmas and at Christmas, I will tend to pick my battles a little more carefully.  We are all stretched thin and our brains are on overdrive... but that's what makes the holidays...well, the holidays!  We had some great family time, some really special memories were made, and the boys even saw Santa's Sleigh on Christmas eve (thanks to a move that my fantastic husband pulled off)  Christmas is about the little ones and we are going to do everything that we can to always make it special for them :)

Blake's new Bike... Luke thinks that its his too... I see a fight coming!

It wouldn't be Christmas eve without some arm-wrestling

Their Great-Great-Grandmas organ. 

Hopefully he wont take Brothers now!

Santa built a play toy in Grandma and Grandpa Rogers backyard!

All I can say... NICE PJ'S!!

Santa left his footprints by our fireplace!

Kyle is excited about Christmas RIBS!!!

Lucy... My Heart Breaks, For A Part Of Me Has Died

I am broken inside, I fell like part of me has died and I will never be whole again.  She was more then a dog, she was a sister to my boys, and my baby girl.  She was always at my side, she always knew when I needed her, and she would have died for our family.

7:00 this morning, and I hear a knock at my door... I was still in bed, so I cautiously approached the door, and it was Tammy... confused I answered, Blake was next to me and excited to see her.  She handed me the phone and told me to stand outside as she wiped the tears from her face, and shut the door behind me.  I look at the phone and I see that it was Kyle, and he said words that I still cant believe are true "Honey, Lucy died last night" I burst into tears, yelled "No" and just stood outside my front door literally shaking in shock... This just couldn't be right...

We didn't see this coming at all.  She was strong and healthy and as lovable as always.  Last weekend, we went up to Anacortes to partake in a tribal celebration, and Left Lucy with my parents.  My mom and dad are wonderful with my animals... especially my mom.  My mom has this sixth sense about her when it comes to animals, so I know that Lucy was very well taken care of and that she felt love in her final hours.  We got back late on Sunday night, and I was supposed to go and get her tonight, but sometime last night, with Max by her side, she passed on.  I don't know why she died... its not obvious at all, but St Bernards are prone to heart problems and also seizures, so I am assuming that it had something to do with that.  Nothing that anyone could have prevented...

Kyle left work at 7:00 this morning, and went and got Lucy from my Mom and Dads, and brought her home.  Tammy took Blake to preschool and then took Luke home with her so that we could figure out what we were going to do with our baby girl.

Kyle and I spent the morning talking about how much we are going to miss her, and how wonderful she was with our boys as we prepared her special spot next to Otto in our backyard beneath the apple trees.  I looked at her one last time and pet her head and gave her a kiss goodbye as we laid her to rest as I wiped more tears from my eyes, and tried not to choke on the lump in my throat.  I buried my face into Kyle's chest as I cried...I just cant believe that she is gone.

I feel really bad for my parents and for Mitch.  Mitch is the one that found her at 5:30 this morning and my parents feel horrible.  It had nothing to do with them, although I am glad that it happened there because I don't know what I would have done if Blake and I would have found her this morning, and she passed in a place where she was comfortable and with her buddy.

What am I going to tell my boys?  Blake is going to know that she is gone, and it is going to break him just like it has me.  She was his best friend, and nothing will ever be that special to him... a love between a child and an animal is a magical kind of love.

Although, some people that don't have dogs might not understand what my family is going through, those that have made their pet part of their family know how hard this is.  My stomach drops when I look at the spot where she used to lay, I am breaking down in tears every time I go into a different room, and I am bawling as I write this.  Our family has been blessed with two AMAZING dogs, but they have left giant holes in my heart.  I don't know if I can go through this again... I know that I will again someday because dogs are just part of our lives, but right now, I can hardly breath.

Goodbye Lucy Lou
You are forever in our hearts
December 2nd 2006 - December 18th 2013

Blake has loved her always

Luke's first Lucy kiss

Shes only about a year old here...

They were our kids before we had kids :)

                 

Lucy and Max... best buds

She was always there... right with us.

May they rest in peace together... side by side

Best hockey goalie ever!!

Always Swimming with the kids

The love of his life

Truly best friends

A Boy and His Dog

I have said it before and I will say it again... there is no sweeter and loving relationship then what a child has with his dog.  They never quarrel, There is never any competition, and there is always understanding.  There is something special about the relationship that we have with our pets... something inspiring.

I am glad that my boys have Lucy... as much as I hate the shedding, brushing, drooling, feeding, and vet visits, I am glad to do it.  I love her like a daughter, and my boys love her like a sister.  In fact, we even call her sister most times.  She is a true member of our family... she sleeps on a giant pillow (sometimes our bed) eats better then we do, defends our home, and loves our family.  What better way for boys to grow up then to know the unconditional love of a dog?

Blake uses her as a pillow while he watches cartoons

Sweet kisses... Luke has chocolate all over his face from the cookies that he "stole"

Luke...Smile!

This is what you get when you ask my darling child to smile... 

He is a little confused :)

My Day At Swedish

I got to spend some special time with my Grandma on Monday... uninterrupted special time.  I wish it was under better circumstances, but never the less, I spent a good 11 hours with her at Swedish Hospital.  We ate 2 meals together, went on a walk-a-bout through Seattle University and had some Starbucks along with some good conversation.  It was really good to spend that time with her.

Now, the reason that we were at Swedish was so that my Grandpa could have a device installed in his back to stimulate the nerves on his spine to hopefully give him some comfort.  Now, my Grandpa Howard is a man of few words... kind of the strong silent type.  Imagine a man who has been active his entire life, who built a beach house with his bare hands, who is a carpentry perfectionist, and has spent his life working hard to provide for his family.  Then imagine that it has all been taken away from him because of debilitating back pain that shoots down both legs.  Confined... not able to do what he loves.  Breaks my heart because no one should be put through that... He is hopeful that this new device will work.  He tried a trial version and seemed to get some relief, so we are all excited for him to be more comfortable.  Our fingers are crossed for him so that he can get back to the life that he so deserves!

Thanksgiving Weekend Away

It is kind of a "Jump Family Tradition" to go to the ocean the weekend after Thanksgiving.  Usually because there is a clam dig, but also, my mom and I love to go to all the antique stores around Westport and Grayland. 

Holy wind... we walked outside our cabin... that was right on the edge of the harbor... and it was so windy that Luke almost blew away. He actually thought it was really funny as I reached to grab him before he fell over... oh dear HAHA.

Everyone also went out to dig clams... and while I actually love to do this, I opted out this time.  Luke is just too little to go run around on the beach with 60MPH winds and rain pelting him in the face, but Blake LOVED it.  That must be the Jump side... we don't mind being in the wind and freezing for some reason :)  Luke and I enjoyed playing with pots and pans and watching Barney on the ipad while everyone else froze their butts off :)

It was a really fun weekend.  The kids loved crabbing off the back porch, and seeing all the boats going in and out of the harbor... we taught them both how to say "harbor" in a New England-ish accent... quite entertaining.  I ate horribly, but the nasty stomach bug that we all caught on Monday helped clear that all out... TMI... HAHA.  Now its time to get back on track!

Our Saturday Morning Adventure

We are early risers and it is not uncommon for us all to be up by 5:30 on a Saturday...  We were all sitting there on the couch watching cartoons, Kyle and I with coffee and Blake and Luke with milk, and then Kyle looks over and says... lets go into the mountains and have breakfast and a bonfire... those of you who know my darling husbands character know that this is a little out of the ordinary for him to suggest, he is more of a planner, so I like to think that after 11 years, I have rubbed off on him a tiny bit!

I went and got all the kids clothes together and Kyle packed the truck with wood and chairs, and then we were off!!!  We told the kids that we were going on an adventure, and that special things were about to happen.  6:15 AM, we were off...

View from our driveway as we left on our adventure

We headed up into Greenwater and took Forest Road 75 up into the foothills (we are familiar with this area) and I say that we drove probably 5-8 miles on the bumpy forest road, and then something special happened... SNOW!!  They were so excited to see snow.  Luke has never really been in snow and Blake couldn't stop talking about it!  We got to our spot, built a fire, played in the snow, went on a walk about and really had a lot of fun.  Blake kept saying... "this adventure is AMAZING!!"

Off looking for Lions 

They can be so sweet

Kyle taught Blake how to make "yellow" snow and why we dont eat it :)  The boys dug in the snow, Luke was more interested in touching it and trying to figure out what it was, and Blake was running off into the woods looking for Lions... had to explain that different types of animals live in different types of forests HAHA... It was a really great morning... It only took us about a half hour to get up there and we were home by 10:20 AM HAHA  just in time for a good nap :)

He's An Old Soul...And A Wonderful Boy

He is different then other children, you can see it on his face and hear it in his words.  He is concerned and cautions, and is always looking out for others.  He worries about people, and he can read their emotions.

 Blake is special.  We all think our children are special, and they all are, in different ways.  Blake has this ability to look at someone and understand what their needs are.  He is very in-tuned with his feelings and the feelings of others. He asked me why this man was holding a sign and what it said... he cried when I explained to him what homeless meant and that their sign said that they were cold and hungry.  When we got home, he pulled out every sent of his piggy bank and asked me if we could give it to them.  

We went to the grocery store to buy food for the Holidays to donate to the Buckley Food Bank, and he kept asking if we could get more... then when we got home, he went into the pantry and started pulling food off the shelves and said "we don't need this as much as someone without any food does"  I almost scolded him to put the items back on the shelf, but something stopped me.  Who am I to stop him from giving...this is where his heart is and why should I redirect it?  I am going to encourage him, and mindfully guide him (he is only 4) to make the right decisions.  I am going to encourage him to feel for people, as I believe that there is not enough of that in this world.  I want him to be confident in his intuition and his ability to feel empathy and compassion.  

To me, he is an old soul, wise beyond his years with more love and grace in his heart then I have ever seen. I have learned something from my little one today, and I am so proud of him.  He is truly a gift to this world, and I believe that he is going to change many lives.  He is a giver...

Miss. Daisy

Daisy is our bunny... She was given to us when Luke was just a baby by my Uncle Darin and Aunt Tammy, and the kids absolutely love her.  She has a rabbit hutch outside but more often then not, she comes in the house, jumps on the furniture, hides under couches, eats out of the garbage cans, and gets lost in the Kid's stuffed animals. (you would think that shes a dog) She is so much fun for them and I am so glad that we have her... except when I have to cut her nails... she doesn't really like that!!

 I think that animals are a good thing for children to have... teaches them how to be gentile, how to care for others, and shes like another playmate :)  I grew up with Rabbits, cats, dogs, ducks... I loved it.  I hope our boys will have some of the same memories!

I'm On My Way...

So, it has been no secret that I have been struggling with my weight ever since Luke was born... Things just didn't bounce back as easily the second time, and I realized that I had to step up my game... And so, I have :). I am well on my way. I am down 15 Lbs so far, and I have about 25 more to go, but I have discovered something along this narrow and long path.  I have tried every diet out there... Atkins...South Beach... Weight Watchers (I don't have time to count points)... Nothing that I could stick to permanently   But... With age, comes wisdom.  There was also a little trial and error in there. :)

This is so cliche, but it is all about a lifestyle change.  If I deny myself something, I want it more and more until I binge on it... Not good!  I work out now, 3 times a week, and I walk on our treadmill at home when I can.  I have discovered that I need this for both my mental sanity, and for my physical health.  I realized that I needed the "me" time or I was going to murder someone haha!

As far as food goes, I think that I will always struggle.  But I have a good feeling about it right now, and I am in a good place.  I don't buy potato chips at all anymore because I have no control over them. The bag looks at me and begs me to eat them...ALL!  I eat on smaller plates, try to load up on fruits and veggies and lean proteins. We don't have bread with dinner anymore, and I add as many veggies that I can without making our food look "vegetarian" ... this is a must since I married a meat and potatos kind of guy :) Sunflower seeds are my go-to choice for a quick snack if I need something salty, and the boys love them too... I buy them already peeled :).

So, I have a long way to go, but for now, I am going to celebrate a little bit of my success.  I am pretty proud of myself, not just because of the weight loss, but because I have taken the time to do something that is just or ME... And my workout gives me the ability to check-out for about an hour and I needed that.  I kind of think that we all do...

I am so motivated to keep this going... I desperately want to wear a pair of skinny jeans this winter with some tall boots and a cute sweater, and feel good about it :)
Much like this outfit...