Thursday, October 23, 2014

A Better ME!!

A while back, I had a crazy-hard day that really made me look into the choices that I was making about "ME" and what was best for my well being.  After really looking into it, I realized that I was giving 100% to my family and my home and not taking care of me at all.  Now I wasn't going to do a 180* turn and ignore my family, but I needed to find a balance, and so my process improvement plan was put into effect...

I have decided to give myself a little bit of a break and to have some realistic expectations.  I was unhappy with my weight, but I cant expect to lose 20 LBS in a month, especially when I am running around with a couple crazy boys and there is no way I can schedule an exact time to get on the treadmill or to expect that I am never going to eat McDonalds french fries again... HELLO its real life, and for some reason I had some crazy expectation of myself and I was setting myself up to be disappointed.  Since my "regroup" I have been well on my way to my weight loss goal, and I have realized that exercise isn't just on my treadmill... its taking the kids on a bike ride, and playing tag with them in the backyard.  AND.... if I happen to get a couple treadmill sessions in a week, I am a happy girl :)

I also felt like I was always playing "catch-up" with housework and meal planning.  I got organized.  HUGE...I am talking HUGE clean up with the kids toys, kids clothes, and also my closet.  If you haven't played with it for months, you do not need to keep it in the bottom of the bin taking up space, and I am tired of stepping on toys, or the kids not being able to find something because its lost in the sea of bottomless toys! Also, if I haven't worn it in years, I don't need it sitting in my closet anymore screaming at me because I know that my body doesn't now, nor will it ever fit in certain clothes again... getting realistic!!  and I am excited to say that those size 12's and 14's have vacated the premises, and all prom dresses have been donated!

I do have interests and they are valuable, I just needed to get the kids involved in them too so that I could do more of it.  I LOVE my garden, and the kids really got into it too... and guess what... if the kids grow it, they will eat it!!  they were more adventurous then they have ever been, and we had a very successful harvest this year.  We grew food for us that I froze and canned, and we will be able to enjoy all winter; we also grew food for the chickens.  All in all, a huge success, and I love to be barefoot and in my garden.  I would have to say, that its one of my favorite places of all time, and its a bummer that the weather has turned, but I still have some stuff growing that we get to pay a little attention to :)

Biggest "Baby" Reds ever!!




Date nights were few and far between, but are SOOO appreciated.  We tried something new, and it turned out to be something that really made a difference.  We make sure that we plan something that we never have done before, and we get a room overnight.  We completely check out!!  We go and eat where we want, we lay in bed and watch movies, we don't have to make the bed, and we tend to really enjoy cocktail hour!!  But, hey, its aloud because we aren't driving!!  We have gone with friends and also by ourselves, and both have been really fun times, and really refreshes us as a couple and rejuvenates us, and gets us back to 100% so that we can be the best parents possible!  Obviously, its not going to be financially feasible to go away every time we have a date night, but we are going to try as much as possible :) and the kids LOVE spending time with Grandma and Grandpa!

Adventura in Woodinville before wine tasting!!

Ipic Theaters at Redmond Town Center... best movie experience ever!

So, its safe to say that we have made some pretty significant changes, and we realized the rut that we were getting into.  I am a lucky woman with my health and a wonderful family.  I really cant complain about anything, but I will always try everyday to make the best of all situations.  I am going to keep myself physically and mentally healthy so that I can give the very best to my children, because they deserve that.   I know everyday isn't going to be perfect, and that its not always going to go as planned, and there are going to still be days that are overwhelming, but I am finding the beauty in life's imperfections, and I am taking advantage of every opportunity to also take care of myself and my husband so we can give the very best to our family. 


Thursday, October 16, 2014

The Blood, Sweat, and Tears of Preschool...

Oh... what to do, what to do... So, Luke has been in preschool for 7 weeks now.  He goes 2 days a week 3 hours a day. 

Now, I know that transition from staying home with Mama all day to going to school can be bumpy, but should it be this bumpy???  Maybe "Bumpy" is an understatement.  I now refrain from telling Luke the night before that he will be going to school the next day because he will be up all night crying about it...all night, and that means no sleep for him or me and doesn't help him have a good day at school.  When he realizes in the morning that he will be going to school that day, the hysterics start... screaming, hiding, throwing himself on the floor, kicking, refusing to brush teeth, refusing to get in the car, cries the entire time I walk Blake through his school to drop him off at his class.  He screams the 10 minutes from Blake's school to his school yelling "don't leave me", he gags because he screams so hard and then he clings to me and I have to rip him off me and hand him to his teacher.  and now... I am completely exhausted, and broken because I feel like I am putting him through hell.

I get in the car and just cry... It breaks my heart and I feel like I am putting him through more then I should, but I also feel like we have committed to this, and if I pull back now, am I sending the wrong message?  Now, he is only 2 1/2.  I thought he was ready, and this is the same wonderful preschool that Blake went to, so he knows the place and loves the teachers, and he is a pretty independent child... he is also determined and very stubborn.  I thought that this would be a good way to get him playing with other kiddos (other then his brother) and have a break from me, and also learn a bit, but I wasn't really concerned about that... just wanted to get him playing with other kids, and get him a little more socialized. 

What does my mother's intuition tell me? ... well, if I put all my emotion aside, I still feel like he's just not ready.  My heart, my instinct, my overall gut feeling is that I should pull him, and try again next year.  I almost feel like I am making him feel less confident, if that makes any sense??  I started writing this blog not really sure about what we were going to do, but after writing out all my thoughts and getting it organized; I feel like I have just made my decision.  I don't even enjoy my free time.  I go home and I just feel guilty.  I will probably let all this marinate for a few more days since its the last day until next Tuesday before he has to go again, but I think today might be his last day.  I am just starting to think that its not worth the blood, sweat and tears (literally) when he is so young and doesn't really have to be there yet.  I might be doing more harm then good??  I don't know... ugh!!


All I know is that he doesn't smile like this at all on school days... I like to see him smile :)