Joshua's Story

I was 40 weeks and 4 days and I thought I would never ever go into labor.  I was overly anxious to meet our little guy and I was starting to over think labor and *trying* to remember the pain (just for the record, you should never do that), and I had done everything to naturally induce labor.  I got to the point where I just threw my hands in the air and gave it up to nature... and a very skilled midwife :)  On Wednesday, December 9th at 11:00 am, I had a dr. apt, and my normal ob was on vacation (perfect timing, right?) so I was under the watch of the midwife in the office, and I didn't think that it would have been a big deal because I didn't even think that I was going to be pregnant that long, but I just went with it, and it turned out to be just what I needed.  anyways, I had my membranes stripped for the 4th time, and I was sent home... and around 4:00, I started to feel some contractions!  I wasn't going to get my hopes up, but they started to go from 15 minutes to 10 minutes to 5, and then we made the call to Grandma Tammy to come get the boys.

It took us an hour to get from our house to Tacoma General in rush hour traffic, and it was the longest hour in my life since my contractions were every 2 min... we were both starting to worry that our baby was going to be born on the side of the HWY!  We got to TG, and up to labor and delivery and I was dilated to a 5... but by the time they got me from the triage room to the birthing room, I was at a 7... oh Jesus!! Tammy and Ryan brought the kids up, Monty made it from work and my mom got there with about an hour to spare.  My dad was in some crazy I5 traffic and made it just as our little guy was born. 

The midwife kicked everyone out around 8:30 to check me, and I was at 9.5... but baby was stuck behind my pelvis since he kind of came down at an angle... so she asked me to push to see if I could get him past it, and there he came... 4 pushes, no epidural, and an amazing husband supporting me all the way!  (ill give the epidural story later... the plan was to have one, but I did enjoy the Fentanyl ) my only request was that I wanted to do was reach down and pull him out, and after she got his head and shoulders out, I reached down and grabbed him under his arms and pulled him out of my body and to my chest... it was the absolutely the most magical thing I have ever experienced, and he was perfect.  I held him on my chest as they cleaned him up, and we kissed him and spent about an hour with him before everyone else came to meet him.  I had him nursing within 15 minutes and we have had complete success with nursing so far, so I am very thankful for that!  My fill in midwife never left my side.  She was very involved the entire time, and wasn't like a dr that just showed up at the end when its time to push.  She was absolutely amazing and my experience was great... I don't know if I would ever choose a midwife over a obgyn because I like the whole "medical school" thing, but it worked out for me this time, and I'm glad to have had the experience :)


Joshua Kyle Rogers Born on December 9th at 8:55PM Weighing 8Lbs 9oz and 21in long

 

 

Yes, the nurse had teal hair! lol

Kyle went and got the boys and they came in to see him... all I could do was cry.  I was so proud of my family of 5... and they were so excited to meet him!  Then the rest of our families came in and it was so much fun to see everyone's excitement over him. 

 

 

 

 

We enjoyed the night with him... I barely slept... I just couldn't stop looking at him.  I forgot what it felt like to fall in love with your baby after he's born... I forgot what newborns smelt like and how sweet their flakey wrinkly skin is... I forgot what it felt like to see your husband holding his son with so much pride.  It was amazing to see and feel how much love multiplies with the birth of a child.  We were able to go home on Thursday around 7pm, and we stopped at Monty and Tammy's house to grab the boys, and we went home with a full car load :)  It was perfect, and my family is just as it should be :)

40 Weeks And Counting

Well, this is it... he is almost here, and we couldn't be more excited/anxious/prepared/giddy/ to meet him.  It feels like I have been pregnant FOREVER, but I know its only been 9 months, and I feel really overdue.  My Doc said that everything looked like it was ready before Thanksgiving and predicted a baby over the holiday (a week and a half early) well, that didn't happen... she jinxed me!  Then she went on Vacation so I have been seeing other doctors in her practice.  I completely feel like I am in good hands, but I just don't like jumping around and meeting new docs and then getting an up-close look at my anatomy at our first meeting, but its been okay, not ideal, but okay.

I have had my membrane separated 3 times now, and last Friday, at my last apt, I was dilated to a 3.  We went home, and I started having some really intense contractions and I totally thought that it was time and that we were going to get to meet sweet babe!  Went in to the hospital, the contractions started to become irregular, and they said that I could stay and walk for a few hours or go home and get some rest because I would have been more comfortable getting a good nights sleep, and they thought my contractions would figure themselves out.  Well, we went home, and when I woke up in the morning, there was nothing.  Maybe a light one every few hours but nothing to get excited about, and now, I haven't had one since Sunday morning.  Believe me, I have done everything, and I am just tired of trying to "make" him come out at this point.  He is just not ready, and who am I to evict him before his time, and its so disappointing when things don't work, so I am not going to do it anymore.  I have an apt on Wednesday, and if he hasn't come out by then, we will schedule an induction date, but I really do not want that.  I hated being induced with Blake, it was a horrible experience, so I hope he decides to make an entrance into this crazy world before then.

I've been walking a lot, on the treadmill and also in stores :)  I swear, I have blown my budget for the next 6 months already by frequenting Target, Costco and Walmart WAY too often.  But right now, there isn't a lot for me to do since I am physically unable and I also don't like to go too far from home.   Especially if I don't have Kyle with me.  We did go up to the mountains to let the kids play in the snow, and I went and got a pedicure the other day.  Blake had hockey on Sunday and we went and watched the football game with Kyles family, so life is going on as usual, but I always have this sweet babes arrival in the back of my mind!  The kids spent Friday and Saturday night with Monty and Tammy because I have been so uncomfortable and I am so glad that the boys have had some distraction lately to keep them happy, but I am still really trying to stay busy to keep the days from dragging out.  I've purchased most of the Christmas gifts and as of today, they are all wrapped and under the tree.  Laundry is done, beds are washed, were all packed, bathrooms are clean and I just scrubbed the floors today (for like that 10th time).  I do still want to clean the carpets in the babies room and our room, but I don't really care one way or another if it gets done.  So, were just waiting on our little guy.  Realizing that I cannot do anything to speed up the process, I am just going to relax and be patient.  Easier said then done most days, but I'm trying.  I know that he will be here eventually :) But for now, I am still here... waiting... eating... getting bigger... more tired... and more excited every second!  Come on sweet boy, we all cant wait to love on you!!!

The kids cant wait to go back to the snow!!

Blake

I will always remember this year as the year that Blake really came into his own.  This year, his 6th year, is the year that I have really started to understand all the little parts and pieces that truly make him stand out.  He has a certain way that he likes to brush his teeth (top first from left to right, then bottom for right to left) and if you try to tell him otherwise, you better be ready for a really long debate, and by the end, you will lose.  I can now trust him to get himself ready in the morning.  He can tastefully pick out his clothing, brush his teeth and wash his face and get his shoes on for school without me really having to worry about it.  I just have to tell him when to start getting ready, and he will check his backpack before we leave to make sure that he has his folder, lunchbox and water bottle all ready to go. 

He is so adventurious with his food now, and it makes my life so much easier when I know that he will pretty much eat anything.  He loves all seafood and especially crab!  He will eat all veggies and most fruits, but he still prefers me to peel his apples :) 

 

Blake loves his sports... he will play hockey out in the garage for hours after school and on weekends, and if its not nasty out, he will kick the soccer ball around the back yard.  He always wants Luke to play with him, but Blake is pretty aggressive, and when Luke has enough of Blake stealing the ball and taking the puck, Luke looses interest pretty quickly.  We have explained over and over again that if he wants his little brother to play with him, then he needs to take it easy on him, but something inside him can only hold back for so long, and then it all goes down the drain.  Playing hockey means that he has a lot of gear, but he knows all the parts and pieces that go into his bag.  I don't think that I could remember to pack all that, and also have the skills that he does.  He definitely gets that from his daddy :)

His independence has really come through.  I am excited that he now has an opinion about things, and he knows what he likes.  He can be a Mr. know it all, and loves to tell me that I am driving the wrong way or that I forgot something, and he really likes to worry... too much sometimes.  He is thoughtful, helpful, loving, affectionate and sweet, and sure likes a good debate. Although the boy turns into a monster on the sports field, we are teaching him how to have good sportsmanship and also to be encouraging to other players.  As parents, we all wonder if we are doing it right... I wonder all the time if I am screwing him up :)  I know that we are hard on him, and we do expect a lot of him, but he is sure a fine young boy, and we are proud of him!

 

Its Almost BABY TIME!!

Isn't it ironic that when you do everything that you possibly can to prevent something, it inevitably happens and the universe once again sends you a message that you are not in control?  I have once again been sent the message that its better to just roll with the punches...blow with the wind...go with the flow... because I cant control anything!  HAHA

Blake's sinuses have finally stopped dripping out his eyes and his boogers are gone thanks to some hefty antibiotics, Luke is doing well too... his boogers are gone too and ears aren't hurting anymore.  Not to mention that he had a little scare at soccer the other night where he got hit in the face with the ball, fell back and hit his head on the goal post, and after some tears, we thought he was fine... well we got home, had dinner, got in the tub, and he screamed that his head hurt and then puked everywhere... off to Mary Bridge we went. Grandma Tammy came with me and Kyle and Blake stayed home since I didn't want Blake exposed to anymore germs and Kyle had to work the next day.  Grandma provided some much needed comfort to Luke and I really appreciated not being alone there, were pretty lucky!!  But after what felt like FOREVER... we were sent home and he was fine... but better safe then sorry when it comes to the head!

This baby can come any time now, I cant wait to hold him... my last appointment showed that my body is doing all the right things and getting ready.  Little guy is super low, cervix is soft and 50% effaced.  I have another apt on Friday, and we will see if any progress has been made, and then Dr will help my body along too, so it shouldn't be long!  We cant wait to meet this little guy, and I am ready to have him out!  I think that I am going to go get a pedicure tomorrow while Luke is in preschool... got to have pretty toes in the hospital!!  Were wrestling with a couple names still... I guess we will just have to wait and see him.  Joshua and Greyson are in the top running, and we just can make up our minds. 

The boys are SUPER EXCITED to be big brothers.  I've made them special backpacks for the hospital full of games and coloring things to keep them busy, and their over night bags are ready... ours, on the other hand has not been packed.  I think ill look into that today.  AND... Super irritated that I cant find my camera charger.  I have looked everywhere... the whole house, the cars, the trailer, the camera bag... nowhere to be seen.  I looked them up on Amazon and there like 50 bucks, so i''m going to think about it for another day or too, and if I cant find it, then I bet I can get one at Best Buy so I don't have to wait for it to be shipped.  But, other then that, I think that were ready.  I am super obsessed about getting laundry done daily (even if its not a full load) because I don't want to deal with piles of laundry after the baby is born... bathrooms are clean, the boys stay clean for like 2 seconds, but at least its pretty deep cleaned, and the babies stuff is all washed, put away, and I have my closets, refrigerators, freezers, drawers cars and everything else all cleaned and organized.  Just need to take a trip to Costco... maybe after my dr apt on Friday?  Ill get it figured out soon :)  Haha, but were ready, so bring on this baby!

Funny thing Luke said... he asked me if when the baby comes out, my tummy wont be so big and hard.  HAHA I told him that it would go down after the baby is born, but it takes a little while to get back to normal.  He said that he wants it smaller so its more cozy to lay on.  LOL obviously, my kids appreciate the fact that I do not have rock hard abs :)

Gosh, we make pretty babies!

Blake on his first day home and first day wire and tube free

Luke right after he was born

 

Sickness, Nastiness, and Grossness

This last month has been hard... to say the least, it has been hard.  We have all been sick on and off.  Mostly nasty head colds, some days are worse then others and some days, I get a ray of hope that we are all on the mend, but by the next day, I am once again reminded that we are full of grossness!  Ive had it, I'm at my breaking point and I just don't want to do it anymore.  Sleepless nights of coughing, and kids coughing, and waking up so stuffed up that you cant breath.  Runny noses, fevers, chills, missing school, birthday parties, and sports.  I am sooooooo completely over it.  I know that they are in school, and its inevitable that they are going to get sick, but right now, I don't feel like I have anything left.  I am begging for these germs to take pity on our family and to kindly just pass us by, but since they decided not to listen to me, I have decided that its time to blow them out of the water!!

I don't have time for this crap anymore!  I am about to go into labor and I need everyone healthy, not to mention that this is taking a lot out of me... both physically, and mentally.  I went to my doc about 3 weeks ago asking for antibiotics, and she said that I wasn't sick enough for them... well I went again last Thursday (to someone else in the same office) and I have an ear and sinus infection... so I guess I was sick enough for them this time and I hope it kicks in soon!  This morning, Blake woke up with his eyes crusted shut... we were like "OMG HE HAS PINK EYE"  so, Kyle took both the boys to the doc at 9 this morning, and Blake has a pretty hard core sinus infection that's draining out his eyes... grossest thing I have ever seen, but not pink eye... and Luke is holding steady with an ear infection.  So, more antibiotics, and they gave Blake some eye drops to help his eyes clear up faster... I think its more of a fight then anything to get those drops in there.   We spent the day doing nothing.  Blake had to miss a birthday party that he was devastated about, poor guy was crying in the doctors office when the Doc told him that he couldn't go.  Its just so sad to me, there wasn't much I could do to make it better and it just breaks my heart. 

Grandma and Grandpa came to the rescue with some new toys, and a lot of snuggles.  We are so lucky that they are happy to snuggle up and help us take care of our sick kiddos.  It kind of gave us a break, and someone else for me to talk to since cabin fever is starting to set in!  We are so thankful for them!!  They stayed most of the day and then after many long showers, nose blows, and movies and games on their tablets, they went to bed... quite easily, which is always a good thing :)  Kyle is still the only healthy one, which I am super surprised about since we have all been breathing our germs on him, but he has a hockey game tonight, so since the kids were sleeping he decided to go, and I think that I am going to take the time to take a bath, and pop in You've Got Mail... and pray that since we are all on medication now, that tomorrow will be a better day.  Please lord, let tomorrow be a better day, and help my boys heal so we can be ready for our sweet baby boy to be born into a healthy family!!  I'm running out of time to get us all back to normal!

Ugly Chicken, Drunk Chicken, Molting Chicken, Naked Chicken

So, my girls are awful looking right now.  They look like they are diseased, and have been beaten with an ugly stick!  Last year, my girls weren't quite adults yet when fall approached, and we did have one chicken that went through a molting cycle, but it wasn't bad, and I honestly was not prepared for this year.

Having 13 adult hens is like having 13 daughters PMSing AT THE SAME TIME... and it can last up to 6 WEEKS!!!  Let me tell you, I have learned a lot about the molting process these last couple weeks, and every chicken handles molting differently.

Drunk.
I have had a couple chickens walk around the back yard and just fall over... they stumble around, and their legs cross over each other, and sometimes they just lay down.  When I first saw this, I was really taken back, I was so worried that they were sick and that they were going to infect the rest of the hens.  Well, after some research, I was able to calm down a little bit.  It appears that chickens need their tail feathers for balance, and when they lose them, they also lose their balance, and can appear intoxicated.  I really did feel bad for them, but it was pretty entertaining to watch!

Ugly and Naked!
These girls seriously look ridiculous, I mean, if you wanted to eat one right now, you would have to do much plucking!!  I never imagined that they could look like this.  They lose the feathers on their heads first and then down to their butts... naked chicken butts is actually really funny too.  I've learned that while their new feathers grow in, it can be pretty painful for them.  They actually run from us right now, and they have never done that before. 

Shes a hot mess!!

Unproductive and Hungry.
So, here is the kicker... while they molt, they don't lay eggs due to the fact that their body uses up so much protein to make new feathers that it doesn't have any left over make an egg.  So, what we have done to help this (and its actually helping) is that I supplement them with high protein foods.  I had some old ground deer in the freezer, so I have been cooking that up with some lentils and it has helped out quite a bit.  Before all this silliness, we were getting about 12 eggs a day, and it went down to 2 a day, and sometimes none at all... now, with the extra feedings, we have managed about 2-4 eggs a day which is better then 0-2... but goodness gracious!!  These ladies are not earning their keep!!

We have decided that we just need to give them their space, give them lots of yummy treats and I have to lean out their coop and covered run almost every other day.  With the lack of feathers and the wind and rain, we also put up the heat lamp for them to hopefully give them some comfort.  I feel bad for them, and I have also learned a lesson... next year, I will be stock piling my summer eggs!!



Closed outdoor run that was cleaned yesterday



Who needs neck feathers?

Introverted

I don't know what it is, call it age, call it circumstance, call it experience, but I can see the change in me. 

When I worked outside the home, I was always in a job that forced me to be social, not in a bad way, and I loved it.  I loved talking to people, helping people and I genially do care about people.  I still like to talk... believe me, get me on the phone and you'll have to pretend your phone died to get me off, or sit next to me at the park while I watch my kids play, and I will always find something to talk about, but recently, I have lost that spark.  I have become a homebody, and I actually would rather be home then anywhere else.  I think a lot of it is to do with being 8 months pregnant, and I feel safe here but my perspective of life outside my little home has become almost scary
.

Traffic gives me anxiety, and it shouldn't... I used to drive downtown Seattle in the middle of rush hour without a problem.  Crowds... forget about it.  I wont combat them right now without Kyle, and I used to feel like I could take on anything, even with kids in tow, but lately, I just don't feel like its worth it.  I don't really call people, I just figure that if they want to talk to me for some reason, they will call me.  I even went as far as dwindling down my Facebook friends and made my profile completely private to those who aren't on my friends list.  This might not sound like a whole lot, but I used to see myself as super outgoing, adventurous, and goofy.  Now, I'm like an old spinster with 50 cats!

Maybe after our little guys is born, ill get my groove back, or maybe its the result of being out of the workforce for so long, I don't know, but what I do know is that this change in me is noticeable, especially to my close friends and family.  I'm not going to let it go on forever, but for right  now, when I feel vulnerable, awkward and unsure about things as I near the end of this pregnancy, if you need me, you will most likely find me at home :)

10 Weeks To Go

So, I have about 10 more weeks of this whole being pregnant thing, which is a beautiful thing all on its own, but when you throw in keeping up with two active boys, colds, stomach flus, and never ever sleeping because I believe that I am also carrying a very active little boy who will probably come out wearing a black-belt, its starting to ware hard on me.

I feel like I have started to turn that corner... the one that all pregnant women feel... where you start to "feel" pregnant.  I am starting to slow down, get really tired, and I feel like I just cant keep up.  Emotionally, this has been kind of hard for me to accept.  I feel guilty, only by my own right, but its hard when you go from doing all of this daily things, and then you just all of a sudden don't have it in you.  Its hard for me to lift Luke, and I feel bad always asking someone else to lift things or little ones for me :(

I feel like I was also a little in denial about how much time I actually had to prepare for this little one, and at one point, I was thinking that I didn't need to do much, but now I realize that there are things that I want to do, and things that we still need to acquire before this baby is born.  10 weeks might seem like a lot, but when I think back on how fast the last 30 have gone, 10 seems like nothing, and I have started to panic a bit, especially when I see it as only 70 days and not 10 weeks...  Kyle and I need to sit down and make a list, a list always makes me feel better because then I can get it out of my head and really look at it.  I might be making a bigger deal out of it then I need to. 

I am still enjoying being pregnant.  Kyle and I love to watch him move and dream about how our family is going to evolve.  I think that we have finally named him, but I better tell my family before we post it on here... at least I think that we have, naming the 3rd of the same gender is hard... we want to make sure that he stands out without having one of those crazy names that no one can spell or pronounce.  And... we went to the fair on Wednesday... it is now Friday and I am extremely tempted to buy a ticket back into the fair just to satisfy my pregnancy cravings... oh what I would give for another Krusty Pup and Elephant ear... maybe some scones and kettle corn too... and maybe an ear of corn... of and how about a monster burger, and then a bottle of Tums!!  HAHA

 

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes - Luke Edition

Luke is growing so much right now, you can see his mind exploding with ideas and questions... oh the questions that come out of this little ones mouth.  He is mostly curious about human anatomy, bodily fluids and how chickens become chicken nuggets... gotta love boys!!

I thought I would write out some of the more interesting conversations that we have had lately... hopefully as life happens, and I forget things, I can look back and read the crazy things out of my little guys mouth... as I know that he will only talk like this a little while longer.

I never get an opportunity to really go to the bathroom by myself... especially if its just Luke and I home, he tends to follow me everywhere and since I pee every 15 minutes, he has plenty of time to follow me into the bathroom...

L: Mom, why do you sit down to pee?
J: girls don't have penises, so we sit down so we don't make a mess.
L: Can I see?  I really think you have a penis...
J: No, you cannot, that would be inappropriate.  Boys have Penises and girls have vaginas.
L: So do you hide your penis in your butt?
J: NO, I do not have a penis, now go away and shut the door!

So, Gonzo, our favorite chicken was taken by a hawk a while back, and we kind of eluted to the fact that shes dead, but haven't really said it... Luke and Blake have very different ideas about where chicken nuggets come from...

B: I Love chicken nuggets
L: I love them too... because I love gonzo and were eating Gonzo.
B: We aren't eating Gonzo, these are from Costco.
L: Maybe the hawk took them to Costco for them to make her a nugget
B: No, Luke, the hawk ate her!  It didn't take her to Costco!
L: (bursts into tears) The Hawk ate her???  I wanted to eat her!!

I am not going to pretend that I don't let an occasional curse word slip out... My go to curse words, usually said in frustration, are damn and shit... Luke will say them in the most inopportune time.

In line at the grocery store check out like and Luke dropped his snack on the ground, and yells out "oh shit"  and you better believe that there was an old lady standing right behind me that looked mortified beyond belief!  I just smiled :)

Luke was running around the backyard barefoot and stepped in chicken poop, and looked down and was like " damnit, I stepped in chicken shit"

I guess I need to watch my mouth a bit more lol :)

So this one is the one that made me laugh so hard that I had tears running down my face... and just to understand this a little better, Luke doesn't says his "v's" it comes out like a "b" instead.

L: Mom, can you jump on the trampoline with me?
J: No honey, its not good for the baby.
L: Why?  Will the baby fly out of your BA-gina?
J: (while laughing hysterically) Ummmm, yes, something like that.
L: okay, you better sit down then.

Then, while jumping on the trampoline, he yells "BA-gina" over and over again... good thing we don't have close neighbors!!

These are just a few of the silly, yet inquisitive, questions and thoughts that come out of this little guys noggin.  He has a serious side too, but gosh he can make us laugh. 

Sisters Perspective

 

This little poem has been shared by many people on my Facebook, and its hard to read for those affected by addiction, but it is very true.  I have not seen my brother since Luke's birthday party in early May after I became curious as to why he disappeared in the middle of the party, came back, and spent an additional 20 minutes in my bathroom.  I discovered q-tips with the ends cut off in my garbage can... I had no idea what it was for, but after I googled it, I was disgusted.  Shortly after that he did many more horrible things to family members and went into rehab again, then got out of rehab and continues with the same old tricks.  If he put as much effort into rebuilding his life as he does into manipulation, lying and stealing, I bet he could do amazing things, but instead, he's always looking for a new angle in which to get away with a scam without being caught. 

I have chosen to dissolve the relationship that I had with him, and the one that he had with my boys.  I felt that it was in the best interests of my family to just stay away, and I have no regrets for the decisions that Kyle and I have made.  I do not appreciate the company that he keeps, nor do I approve of what he does, and if my husband is ever alone with him, I am not so sure that Mitch would make it out alive.  Some people think that I am cruel to keep my kids from him, they say that he is "family" and that we should always stick together.  Well, your opinion is your own, but my job is to protect my children and I am doing what I believe is best.  He has destroyed a once, close family.  He has torn them all in different directions, and I give it another couple months before he self destructs again, but this time, were not going to be around to see it, and I am not going to have to explain to my kids why their uncle has to go away for a while - right now, he is out of sight and out of mind.   Does it hurt?  Of course it does... its sad, ugly, disappointing, hurtful, and disgusting... but I have come to the conclusion that I cannot help, no one can but him.  So, he's on his own... well not really, he has found someone else to manipulate into taking care of him... 

but anyways, here is the poem... so sad, but tis so true.

I destroy homes, tear families apart,

take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold,

the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold,

and if you need me, remember I'm easily found.

I live all around you, in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.

My power is awesome; try me you'll see, but if you do, you may never break... free.

Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad

When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give.  When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned this is no game.  If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind.  I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head,

the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me,

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master; you will be my slave,  I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do?  Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

School Follow Up

So, we started off strong, I was excited that they were doing so well, and then WHAM!  I'm talkin complete opposite of the first week.

Lets start with Blake... he started out by not wanting me to walk him to class because he's a big boy, and he didn't need me to do it.  He was proud and confident and he was ready!  Last night he started crying that the days are too long and he missed us too much.  Then woke up this morning with the same problem.  He bawled... like the crazy make yourself sick, snot rolling down your face type of cry.  I was sympathetic for a while, but then the tough love had to come into place.  I explained that going to school is not an option, its something that you have to do, just like daddy has to go to work and mommy has to vacuum (lol)... and I might have also told him that it was illegal not to go, so he didn't have a choice.  I got him in the shower, and put him in the right state of mind, and then I kind of bribed him and told him that I put some special surprises in his lunch (Whoppers) and if he had a good day, then we would do something really fun tonight.  I also think that I am going to break it up a bit and maybe go have lunch with him once a week, but its not that he doesn't want to go to school because he doesn't "like" school, I think that the long days, lack of naps and busy schedule is getting to him.  So, I walked him to his class, got him seated, and I could see the tears welling up.  I told him that he was going to have a great day and have so much fun with his friends, gave him a kiss and left.  I could tell that he was trying to hold his tears in.  I know that it will pass, but talk about pulling at your heart strings!  I emailed his teacher last night too to let her know that he was showing some reservation, and bless her heart, she emailed me back at 11:00pm and I am working closely with her and I am sure it will all work out, but holy crap, I didn't see this coming.  *sigh*

Then Luke... totally fine and then I dropped him off, and he starting screaming for me!  Like the ugly scream while Ms. Connie is holding on to him and he's pushing away from her trying to get to me.  I know that the best thing is to make a quick exit, so I gave a kiss, said good bye and out the door I went as I could hear him scream all the way to my car.  I know that he probably stopped the second I left, but gosh I feel bad.  I drove away bawling!  Composed myself enough to run by the lab for some blood work that I needed to get in, and then took my butt to Starbucks and got me a blended mocha and some lemon pound cake. 

Now, I'm home, laying on the couch, watching the View and enjoying these 3000 calories while writing in this blog.  I know that there is a couple loads of laundry that need to be done, but I don't really feel like doing them, and breakfast dishes are in the sink, and I really don't feel like doing that either.  I think that I am just going to sit here for a while, come up with a game plan, and stop feeling guilty.  Easier said then done, I know, but I guess were just in the adjustment phase and by next month, everything will be fine. 

 

A New Year

I cant believe that school has started for my kiddos.  Summer flew by, but in some ways it felt like it took forever!!  The kids were ready for some space... when you see your sibling every waking moment of every day, and you even share a room at night, you start to fight, get on each others nerves, and mom is left finding grey hairs!  They needed to branch out, they needed to find their own identities and their own friends.

Blake was so excited to finally start all day kindergarten!  He was ready, and because of his late September birthday, he was only able to attend the early kindergarten program last year, and that was great for him, and a perfect stepping stone into full day.  But as Blake is almost 6, he was ready for all day. One thing he wasn't ready for was not being able to graze and eat whatever you want whenever you want, HAHA I have never seen him eat so much in my life!  We eat dinner at 4:30 so he didn't have to wait long, but being at school from 8:55-3:25 sure wore him out and he's been sleeping like a baby at night... I'm talking 7:00 completely asleep!!  He's making friends and he's so excited to learn!  he loves it, and I'm so glad that he has this amazing love for school :)

He chose the front row!  Such a good little student :)

Today was Luke's first day.  Last year, they had to rip him off of me, and he absolutely hated it.  he was 2 and a half, but academically, he was ready, so I thought he would grow out of it - NO WAY- he went for 8 weeks and it was the same thing every time... kicking, not sleeping the night before, hysterical on the way there, begging me to stay, and I finally said screw it, he wasn't ready and I wasn't going to push it any longer.  He had a good year at home learning with me, and what a difference a year makes!  This year, at 3 and a half, he was excited, eager, and it sounded like this "Luke, its time for me to leave now" and Luke looks at me, smiles, and says "okay mama, see you in a little while"  no fit, no screaming, no fighting.  He was happy, comfortable and I was thrilled!  I am not the mom that cries when her kid goes to school successfully.  Last year, leaving him bawling every day I was in tears crying to Kyle on the phone that I didn't feel right leaving him, and this time... I am thrilled that he is so well adjusted.  That I can leave him and he trusts that I will come back, and that he is confident in himself.  Well see how he did this afternoon, but he started the day off right, and I cant wait to see how he grows this year!

He had to wear his favorite "SNOOFIE" T-Shirt!  He also wore it yesterday so I was doing laundry at 7 last night :)

Wrapping Up Summer

This summer has been amazing... this is the first summer where we have had two (mostly independent) eager boys ready to explore!  not held down by diapers or fears of the water... these kids were ready, so good thing I can still kind of keep up with them.

We had our first solo camping trip ever... it was different to go with just our boys, and not family and friends, but it was so much fun!!  We took a long weekend at Lake Easton, and we will definitely go back!  Kyle took the boys fishing and we went hiking, kayaking, and exploring... even stumbled on a car show full of really neat old cars.  Food was simple, we made our own time, and Kyle and I found ourselves just observing what great little guys the boys have become!

All they wanted to do is fish... so that's what we did!!

She loves to swim

Getting ready for school has been fun... many open houses, meet and greets, and last minute shopping trips, but we are ready!  Learned my lesson on buying pants too early... Blake already grew out of the jeans I bought him a month ago!  Luke is ready for preschool, he doesn't have a choice this year, he must go!  but its going to help that he has a friend in his preschool class.  I anticipate a little resistance from him, but I am pretty confident that it will all work out.  I have a 5 year old going to kindergarten that is insisting that he can walk himself to school and get to his class all on his own, and he doesn't want any help from me (yeah right) and my 3 year old is going to be screaming, holding on to my leg and begging me not to leave him haha!  Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

The boys got a really fun last minute surprise from Grandma and Grandpa Rogers just in time before school starts!  They got to take a special trip to San Diego and went to SeaWorld and the Zoo!!  They had so much fun!  They swam in the pool, saw so many different animals, and Luke got his first plan ride... this is number 3 for Blake.... I didn't ride on my first plain until I was like 13, little stinkers!!  They loved it!  One little last minute hurrah before school starts!  I don't have many pictures from their trip, but the Rogers family sport their Seahawks support no matter where they are!!

It was so hard to let them go, this mama had a pretty rough time at first, but Kyle took time off from work so I wasn't wallowing in my own sorrow, and we celebrated our anniversary!  We spent 4 days doing things that we haven't done in years; things that are too hard to do with kids.  We went on an all day drive to Mt Rainier National Park, and saw some amazing things... can you believe that we have never been there and its like an hour from our house... AND everyone that was there was from a different country and they were on vacation... really??  I had no idea that people came here for vacation!  We also went to Seattle with Tyler and Liz, and again, played tourist in our own backyards haha... I have never seen the Ballard Locks... Crazy, I know, and I cant wait to take the kids there!  We contributed to the gum wall, drank Starbucks, hung out with the Troll, and saw the UP house.  LOVED IT!!  Okay, my husband loves me very much but he is refusing to take the Duck Boat Tour with me... OMG I know, I'm a nerd, but I sooo want to do it!!  Anyone wanna come with me?  Apparently, ill have to leave my husband at the bar.  Or maybe of I take him to the bar first, I will be able to get him on the Duck Truck!  HAHAHA  We went to ipic, love that place!!  And we filled in the rest of the time in with walks with the dog, buying some new furniture (seriously needed) and grocery shopping lol :)  It was really neat to spend that one on one time with Kyle, but I was sure excited to get the boys back! 

We saw a family of Black Bears... we were so close!!

Paradise Hike

 

 

 

School starts for Blake this Friday and then Luke starts preschool next Thursday.  Back to reality and the grind!  Also, time to start thinking about baby stuff... hes going to be here soon!!